My Brother

Most people who meet me think I am a pretty nice person; but I need to confess that my brother, Charles W. Honaker (Bill) is the very nicest of the two of us! We are all that is left of our "family of origin". Our parents and our older brother, Tom, are dead and have left us as the matriarch and patriarch of the family. Sometimes that feels like a heavy responsibility to me, but Bill and his wife Bobbie (who I have known since I was 13) shoulder that responsibility the way they have walked through their 50+ years of marriage - with faith and joy.

Bill served two tours of duty in Vietnam and he has just written a book about that experience: The Dead Were Mine. It is a well written account of his service and work in Vietnam. He served in the Army as  a Non Commissioned Officer in the Graves Registration service. His duty, along with those who served with him, was to find and recover the remains of those who died in battle. These soldiers performed those duties with reverence as a sacred trust. Once a fallen soldier's remains were recovered, they were never left unaccompanied as they were returned to the US and to their families. I know something about that honor of  accompanying the dead at funerals where I have presided. From the moment the casket or urn was received into the church, it was my honor to "shepherd" that person's remains until they were buried, praying every step of the way. Most of the mortuary people I worked with knew that I took that responsibility seriously and always waited for me before they moved the remains. 

The first time I ever heard my brother talk about his experience in Vietnam was when our dad was dying. During that week we were often up at night together staying with daddy. I'm not sure how it happened but one night Bill began to tell me about the work he did during those two tours of the war. It was, for me, a tender time of getting to know Bill again. The experiences he shared were sobering. I do wonder now why it took so long for me to ask him about Vietnam. Part of it is, as Bill writes in the Preface to the book, an assumption that he would not want to talk about those experiences. But part of it too is my own feelings about war…in part formed by my participation in a generation that had grown to believe that the Vietnam War, which was taking the lives of friends and family, was not "our" war to fight. I am a pacifist who possesses a heart which is incredibly tender towards humanity. I hold on to Jesus'  teaching on the Sermon on the Mount as a hopeful guide for our lives. These things do not interfere with my respect for those who serve in the military…or for those who disagree with my point of view. Reality teaches me that we need to have both sides of any question represented as we make decisions and especially decisions about war. Killing others, even when it is justified, leaves a residue of pain in our heart. I am so glad that my brother escaped the PTSD that cripples so many of our war veterans. We have done those who have served our country in Vietnam such a great disservice over these intervening  years.

I was reading through a series of books written by Julia Spencer - Fleming recently. They are mysteries which are set in a small upstate New York town. They involve a female Episcopal priest (of course!) who is the rector of the local Episcopal Church and the police chief of the town. These two protagonists solve crimes together. I came to the book: And One Was A Soldier. It is a mystery, but much, much more. It details the struggle of 5 people who have just come home from serving in Iraq. They come home with varying degrees of PTSD and a variety of issues: drug addictions, memory loss, loss of limbs, depression and anger. This book is an excellent primer on the reality of how war affects the human heart.

The Dead Were Mine gives a picture of the Vietnam War that most of us would probably rather forget. But we need this book to remember that as my brother says, "there is a cost involved" in the freedom we cherish for ourselves and for others. 

Israel and Palestine: Dear to my heart

This morning I started weeping for my brothers and sisters in Israel and Palestine. Kidnappings, killings, rockets and airstrikes are destroying any hope of even a "fragile" peace. If there is any urge in you for taking sides, I hope you won't do that. Both sides have committed heinous crimes against each other from stripping the land from its owners and making them refugees, to suicide bombings which kill innocent civilians. If there is a part of you that wants to say that "it has always been that way and always will be", I beg you to open your mind to God's power to bring peace. And if there is a part of you that wants to "have no part" of this war, it is too late for that. We are part of this war because our money supports Israel's military.

But there is a deeper reason calling for our concern and prayer. We are related to our Hebrew and Arab brothers and sisters through our ancestor Abraham. We are bound together by God who loves each one of us, and calls us faithfulness in worship of the one God. Fundamentalists of all three religions - Christian, Jewish and Muslim - divide us from one another with words of judgement and hatred. My prayer is that all sides will focus on what unites us. I believe it is that common love of the One we know as God and the family story we share.

There is a crisis in Israel and Palestine and most especially in Gaza. The Anglican Bishop of Jerusalem, Suheil Dawani, reported yesterday that the hospital in Gaza has been seriously damaged by the Israeli airstrikes. The population of Gaza is 1.7 million people, which makes it one of the most densely populated areas of the world. The United Nations has recorded 168 Palestinians killed: 133 civilians, and 36 children. Over 1,140 Palestinians have been wounded. The first Israeli casualty was reported on Tuesday near the border of Israel and Gaza.

When our Presiding Bishop, Katherine Jefferts-Schori visited Gaza in 2013 she told reporters this:
"God weeps at this war between his children. We weep as we watch the destruction; and we should be storming heaven with our prayers for peace."

I hope you will find yourself weeping over Jerusalem, crying out to God for those who suffer in Palestine, Gaza and Israel and praying like you have never prayed before for shalom, al-salam - peace.

Black Bears and City Council

This is NOT a Black Bear!

The above picture is, of course, my sweet dog Bella and my not so sweet cat Pumpkin. Pumpkin has taken over Bella's bed and managed to convince Bella that she should sleep there. Pumpkin has no less than three other "beds" to sleep in but loves to continue her work of being the "household administrator" here on Ivy Lane!

But about that black bear...Yesterday I was driving home from town on Hwy 21 south. I was about a mile north of Pull Tail Road when a black bear, about the size of a refrigerator, loped across the road in front of my car. I stopped and the car behind me also stopped and watched in amazement as the bear continued it's journey into the woods. I have had all sizes of deer cross my path on the roads around here but this is my first bear. Maybe the road construction on Hwy 21 has disturbed the bears...or maybe they just can't resist taking a closer look at those orange barrels along the road!

These pictures are from the hike I took on Tuesday with a friend. We were on the Mountains to Sea Trail near Laurel Fork. We hiked with Bella through this beautiful forest of trees and ferns. Bella is a great trail dog and as you can see from the picture below she loves being outdoors. 

Tuesday evening I attended a Sparta City Council Meeting to support Christ Church's efforts to avoid the placement of a meat processing plant across the highway from us. It was like watching a bad comedy portrayal of small southern town politics. The lack of ability by the Council members to disguise their "need to please" one well known resident over the legal and practical concerns of many was embarrassing. I came home and wrote a letter to the editor of the Alleghany News. Here is an excerpt:

During the “limited time” that the council gave to discussion of this issue, much was made of the connection that each person had to Alleghany County. This small segment of “deeply rooted” Allegheny County residents present at the meeting was however, not representative of the people of this county. I cannot help but believe that the majority of the residents of Sparta and Alleghany County would have reacted negatively to the way that the City Council members dismissed the rights of property owners in this neighborhood to have prior knowledge of a Rezoning Committee’s intention to rezone property in their neighborhood. Most I believe would have shaken their heads in disbelief at the Council’s dismissal of Christ Church’s expressed opposition to the meat processing plant by saying, “your Church is only used once a week”. This said to a Church whose grounds include a Memorial Garden where ashes of loved ones are interred; grounds where a Labyrinth, built by the youth is used for prayer and meditation. Christ Church’s work to help those in need in this county goes well beyond Sunday morning worship. I have no doubt that the residents of Alleghany County who were not present would have been saddened by this City Council’s “good ole boy” rubber stamp of approval for this meat processing plant. Their action was reactive to one resident of the county’s wishes; it showed an enormous lack of planning for the development of Alleghany County; and dismissed as unimportant the care of this county’s residents.

The meat processing plant seems to be a “done deal”. But the residents of Sparta and the citizens of Alleghany County will, I hope, pay attention to the actions of their leaders and remember those actions at election time. It is clearly time for new leadership as we seek to plan for the future of Sparta and Alleghany County. We need forward thinking people who can listen, and who see the need for clear planning in land use issues so that we do not make these same mistakes again. 

No, I am not going to run for City Council but I am sure hoping that the younger citizens of Sparta will step up and offer their gifts of leadership. That's my prayer on this 4th of July....

Life as it Happens

The Importance of Being Ernest

Lady Bracknell strikes again!

Community Theater has been reborn in Allegheny County! June 20 - 22 a group of wonderful people  put together the play: "The Importance of Being Ernest". For some of the actors it was their first time on stage; some of us had a little experience with acting, and a few had been in theater for quite a while. Everyone did a great job and the three performances were well received by our audiences. We were at the Sparta Auditorium which is part of the school system - this was a special treat for me since my Dad (whose name was Ernest) went to school here. 

I do want to reject the idea that I was typecast for this role! All I can say is that it was SO MUCH FUN to boss people around on stage! Theater, of course, came out of the Church which puts on a show, called worship, every week. 30 years of doing that gives one experience I guess, in bossing people around....so, maybe there was "some" reason for my role....? Some of my favorite lines as Lady Bracknell:

When LB is pondering her nephew's invalid friend, whose illness is getting in the way of her own plans she says: Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury decided whether he was going to live or to die. This shillyshalling with the question is absurd.  When her daughter, Gwendolyn, runs off to meet her desired man; LB finds them and in response to Gwendolyn's announcement that she is engaged to Mr. Worthing, says, Come here. Sit down; sit down immediately! Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young and physical weakness in the old!

Wilde's play is a humorous criticism of the self-absorbed English society of the late 19th century. My wonderful friend, Mary Mac Shields, who has been costuming theater productions for over 30 years came from Fayetteville to build our costumes, which were stunning.  It was great to have her experience beside me as I attempted this role. I can only say that their is enormous talent here in Allegheny County. Most of the actors were people who grew up here. It was a privilege to work with them. 

 

A new resident of Allegheny County

This is a picture that a friend took last week. He and his wife were working at a house in the Roaring Gap area and this little fawn was lying near the porch. After being in touch with the animal rescue people, they decided that the mom was near by and was feeding the baby. The baby stayed there for 3-4 days. It is such a great picture of how beautiful they are. Our woods seem full of these babies right now. 

I am reading a book called Plain Living: A Quaker Path to Simplicity. The author is Catherine Whitmire.  She has compiled quotes from Quakers on various topics having to do with living simply. I am taking my time through the book as I continue to pare down my life. Of course the hardest thing for me are the things I use to make art, but I want to be regular in revisiting all that I have in terms of what is needed. Giving the clothes and other things that I do not use to our local thrift shop has become a joy. 
This is one of the quotes I am currently pondering:

Still another step toward simplicity is to refuse to live beyond our means emotionally. In a culture where whirl is king, we must understand our emotional limits. Ulcers, migraines, nervous tension, and a dozen other symptoms mark our psychic overload. We are concerned not to live beyond our means financially; why do it emotionally?  (Richard Foster, 1981)

Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou

1928 - 2014

In January of 2013 two friends and I drove to Boone to hear Maya Angelou speak. It was such a typical winter night in the mountains: bitterly cold winds and remnants of snow and ice everywhere. But inside the Holmes Center no one was thinking about their cold journey to get there. Even the hard seats, made for sports events, seemed comfortable. We were all "at home" with Maya that evening listening to her unmistakable voice and taking courage from her presence and words. The crowd was mostly young and from the moment she came on stage there seemed to be one purpose in her heart: encourage this "future generation" to let nothing stop them from living their dreams. 

I wish I had written down some of her words that night, but as I look back I realize that the most important thing for me was to see this woman, hear her voice, and receive her strong spirit. When she recited Phenomenal Woman, it was for every woman in the auditorium:

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed. 

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud. 

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels, 

The bend of my hair, 

the palm of my hand, 

The need for my care. 

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me. 

(last stanza: Phenomenal Woman)

When I think of Maya it is to remember her strength as a woman; her ability to survive her childhood, and racial prejudice. She has taught us much about how to survive when life is hard and the world is unfair. And her strength lives on. 

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise.

Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise.

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear the tide.

(Still I rise: fourth stanza)

Diane Rehm interviewed Maya later in 2013 and it was wonderful to hear these two great women interacting with each other. Toward the end of the interview, Maya said, " I like you so much, Diane Rehm, and so does your audience. And I have a feeling all the time that you and I are best friends. And I know that if we lived near each other, at least, we'd see each other once a month, have a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or something..." At the end of the show Diane told Maya thank you and then added, "I love you Maya." and Maya said, "I love you Diane Rehm." 

Seems a good way to say good-bye to Maya: Thank you and we love you...

"Our Mandela"

 Jimmy Carter 

When I went to hear Jimmy Carter teach Sunday School in Plains, Georgia I was not prepared to be the one who led the opening prayer for his teaching. Because of the large number of visitors they have on the Sundays when Mr. Carter teaches, the leaders at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains have a kind of "liturgy" that they go through before Mr. Carter enters the sanctuary. The woman who runs the show is Jan Williams, a former school teacher...with perhaps a bit of drill sergeant mixed in! She is tough and of course it doesn't hurt to be backed up by the Secret Service. There were 5 of us who traveled from Sparta, NC to hear Mr. Carter. One of our group somehow managed to meet Jan on Saturday while we were visiting Plains and touring the Carter homestead. She told Jan about our little group of 5 who had traveled for a day to be in Plains. On Sunday morning after being cleared by the Secret Service we entered the sanctuary. Miss Jan who was already into her crowd "warm up" saw us and motioned us down front where she had seats on the second pew saved for us. As part of her instructions to the over 200 people who came to hear Mr. Carter she told us that he would ask any who were ministers (active or retired) to stand and introduce ourselves. "BUT", she said, "if you do that be prepared to pray, because Mr. Carter will ask one of you to pray." 

After all the ministers had introduced themselves, given their church affiliation and where they lived and worked; Mr. Carter turned and faced me and asked me to pray. It was quite an honor to pray for this wonderful man who then led us in a grace filled study of the Prodigal Son. I have since learned that Mr. Carter almost always asks a woman pastor to pray. 

A good place to begin understanding why Carter does this is in his new book pictured above. Jimmy Carter was raised in the Southern Baptist Church - a Church which has consistently voted "no" to the ordination of women. In 2000 the Southern Baptist Convention took official action which made it clear that women would no longer be able to serve as deacons, pastors, or chaplains. Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter decided to end their relationship with the denomination. They chose to remain part of their local church where a substantial number of members supported the ministry of women. Mr. Carter spends the first several chapters of this book helping us understand his own view of the equality of women.  In these chapters Mr. Carter offers his own reflections and study of scripture regarding gender equality. It is an engaging and entertaining account. For me, however, the heart of this book is found in the other 15 chapters of the book. In those chapters Carter shows how women have been, and still are victims of abusive power, war and violence. His writing is a place to begin as we talk about the effects of gender inequality. 

We are making progress in how women are treated but  a recent news story shows us how much more progress we need to make.  A month ago 230 Nigerian school girls were abducted by the ultra radical Islamic terrorist group Boko Haram. Reports say that the terrorists are sharing the girls, conducting mass marriages and selling these young girls. The misinterpretation of the Koran by these fundamentalists is tragic beyond words. Pointing fingers at "those terrorists over there" does little to help these girls. The misinterpretation of all of our sacred writings (Koran, Bible, Torah) have always led to oppression, slavery and degradation of humanity. Raising our awareness to see how easily this happens in every culture gives a chance for human dignity to happen. Until we can honor the image of God in every human we will have no peace. 

A friend recently called Jimmy Carter, "our Mandela". After reading this book I realize why she said this. In his own quiet and humble way Jimmy Carter has offered "freedom" to so many through his teaching and the work of the Carter Foundation in Atlanta. You will be amazed, as I was, at how much this lovely man of God has done with the gifts God has given him. 

Death as a Penalty

After three days of intense fog and rain the sun came out yesterday and I saw my first red bud tree blooming. Bella and I were on our usual morning walk through our little part of this mountain paradise when the vibrant purple color of the blooming red bud caught my eye.

I was in Wilmington, NC last weekend for a party honoring my dear sister/friend, Blair. Blair and her partner Inza, have just had their backyard garden redone and have planted three red bud trees across the width of the garden. They had already bloomed and the leaves were out. A friend had framed a beautiful gate with a wooden arch made from an African wood called "jarrah". It all blends together for a picture perfect view from their deck where 40 or so friends gathered for great food and conversation. For me this event was a slice of the richness of relationships that Blair has shared with me over 30 years of friendship. It was an evening to be remembered for a long time.

I have been reading a little booklet by Ghandi called, "The Message of Jesus Christ". Ghandi admired Jesus very much and believed that his teaching in the Sermon on the Mount was the essence of Jesus' teaching. Ghandi was influenced by the message of non retaliation and non resistance to evil found in Jesus' teaching. That the message of this "Prince of Peace" was so distorted by Christianity in the west was painful to Ghandi.

I was reminded of Ghandi's words this week as I read about another botched "death penalty execution" in Oklahoma this week. I first heard it reported on the BBC news and could hear the incredulity of the British reporters as they reported the torturous process of the killing of Clayton Lockett. Tortured to death would be an accurate description. Some are saying that he got what he deserved...he tortured a young woman to her death and therefore..."an eye for an eye"(Leviticus). But Jesus' teaching in the Sermon on the Mount reversed that part of the Levitical law: "You have heard it said, 'eye for eye and tooth for tooth', but I tell you do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other also..." I will be honest with you that the depth of this one statement of Jesus is hard to understand and more importantly hard to live, but the kind of retaliation that the death penalty shows is hard to fit into Jesus' teaching here.  The death penalty is not working as a deterrent to crime in our Western civilization and the fact that we are one of only a few nations that still has the death penalty certainly gives me pause. I wonder what the world sees of our "Christian nation" in this latest story of death as a penalty.

In one of his writings Ghandi said that "if Christians wanted people to feel the 'aroma of Christianity' they must copy the rose which irresistibly drew people to itself. A rose does not need to preach. It simply spreads its fragrance. The fragrance is its own sermon." This is a reminder for me of the teaching of St. Francis who said, "Preach the gospel and if you must, use words."